THE CHESED PERSONALITY
You are a person who feels for others, and gives to them with your entire heart. When you see another person suffering, as a Chessed personality, you relate to them in the spirit of the verse: “I am with him in his trouble.” And when your friend experiences joy, you stand beside them as a partner. You naturally influence all who enter your sphere. You give everyone your attention, because you love every person as yourself. An aura of love and fraternity accompanies you, as though your entire being is given over to assist the other. You embody the unique nature of chessed, which is expansiveness (hispashtus). Thus, chessed and love emanate and extend from you, reaching both near and far.
Your natural connection to others leads you to socialise more. And when someone is suffering, it pains you as well. Not only do you empathize with people in pain—even with those you do not know—you invest much time and effort in reaching out to others to help them. This is not motivated merely by the desire to do the right thing, but out of a genuine emotional caring for others that drives you to want to help.
Your sincere care for your fellow man is part of a God-woven tapestry of natural qualities at the root of your soul which you were blessed with in order to fulfil your mission in this world. The same gifted virtues are not limited to relating to others. There are many other ways that you as a Chessed personality utilizes these skills in other areas of life.
Here are some more positive and negative qualities of a Chessed personality
You are naturally sensitive and aware of what other people are feeling. You are able to set aside your own preconceptions of other people’s needs and wants, and truly become receptive to what is going on inside of them. This sensitivity and openness also manifests itself in your ability to feel inspired by the beauty and magnificence of the world around you, usually accompanied by a general sense of artistic and aesthetic appreciation. A similar openness and trust is often displayed in your penchant for health food, approaches to alternative healing, such as holistic medicine, meditation and other practices, which the other personality types tend to be more skeptical about.
You, as an open-minded persona, are used to considering all kinds of things that the stubborn world has yet to catch onto. Even though some people would get turned off by an aggressive sales job, you just see the beautiful soul trying to help you see the light. Even if you notice their obnoxious sales techniques, that too is okay since they are just trying to make a living and you would love to help them. Especially if they seem in any way needy, for at that point the product isn’t even important. All that matters is that you are able to help them, even if you can’t afford it.
This natural quality of open-mindedness also helps consider spiritual opportunities with an optimistic willingness to participate.
Living in the Moment
As a Chessed personality, in order to express love and empathy of others, you are able to put aside everything else in the world for the time that you are devoting your full attention to the person in need. The ability to live in the present moment is a critical part of the package you are blessed with to enable you to naturally fulfill your true purpose. While some people’s minds and hearts are already onto the next task on their list before they have even finished the present job, the Chessed personality is in one place at one time. Even when alone, your heart is fully dedicated to experiencing the most of whatever is in front of you at that particular moment.
Living in the moment creates an excellent mindset for prayer or meditation with great intention. It is natural for the Chessed personality to get totally into it... for real.
As a Chessed Personality there are a number of other positive qualities such as being naturally blessed with the ability to live in the moment, help social causes, and of course of a love for spending time with other people.
There are also some very critical vulnerabilities that are part of the package of being a Chessed Personality. They must be disciplined by integrating more of the qualities of the Gevurah Personality into your life.
As a Chessed personality, the inclination to care for others finds expression in ways beyond merely showing kindness toward the individuals who happen to be in your life at the time. When you hear of people suffering on the other side of the world, your inner voice of empathy and love is ignited. It may result in purchasing a plane ticket to actually travel there in order to help, or simply in giving charity for the sake of those unfortunate individuals.
For a Chessed person, loving other people also means enjoying being around other people. This is not necessarily true for everyone. A person may help others out of a sense of moral responsibility, but not particularly enjoy being involved in other people’s lives. For the Chessed personality, however, being around others is a source of inspiration in itself. You thrive on connecting to others even when there are no individuals who require your help. You are a “people person” by nature, which is expressed in the warm and outgoing approach you show to everyone you meet, from your good friends to the stranger you chat with on an elevator ride.
Negative qualities to watch out for
When your attribute of Chessed is not properly disciplined with boundaries, you run the risk of the following vulnerabilities. By looking out for them, it should help ensure that you use your Chessed within a healthy balance of other attributes that are less natural.
Being Too Open
Because of your open mindedness and willingness to explore new ideas and opinions, it can be difficult to do this with both feet firmly on the ground. That is, with a strong sense of intellectual honesty, and with a pragmatic view of how to actualize the idea being proposed. The Chessed personality naturally lacks this these boundaries and is therefore overly enthusiastic doubt investing your energies in every new and exciting plan. However, without these elements of objectivity and practicality, you are at risk of being swept up in deceptive sales tactics, misleading “spiritual” practices and untrustworthy mentors who may have impure motives. If nothing else, the Chessed personality may simply waste their time on secondary endeavours, rather than investing their time and energy into things that really count for them in their lives.
While living in the moment allows you to fully experience the world and other people, it also makes you vulnerable to repeated lateness, and the problem of losing track of everything else in life that depends on time. Maintaining a schedule is a tremendous challenge for the Chessed personality, so that even when committed to meeting someone somewhere, you are inevitably late.
Social Causes vs. Family Demands
The deep pleasure the Chessed personality finds in helping others and giving to the larger community also puts you at risk of forgetting those closest to you who rightfully deserve your support and attention. While you may love your family and close friends deeply, the responsibilities of day-to-day life are burdensome when compared to the exuberayting feeling of helping many people with their problems. As a result, the very people who once felt your love pouring down upon them at an early stage of their relationship may now feel ignored, when their benefactor seeks to express himself by engaging in a larger degree of chessed. Unfortunately, when you see someone completely immersed in doing chessed for their community, it is often at the expense of others. Thus, you must know how to prioritize when to give, how much to give and to whom to give.
All You Need Is Love—Well, Not Really
The most dangerous distortion of chessed is when the boundaries are blurred in the most cherished relationships. For example, marriage is not just about how much love the couple share with each other. The depth and holiness of a marriage is created by the exclusivity of the couple’s commitment to one another. These are the boundaries that are essential to making the love of a marriage as beautiful as it can be. Yet this commitment can be difficult for someone who is used to showing their love for everyone. Without proper limitations (the trait of gevurah), the stability of your marriage can be seriously threatened.